How to Overcome Setbacks When You're Not Hitting Your Goals (3 Things That Actually Help)
Real quick... are you an achiever or an overachiever?
Because I get it. I LOVE writing down a goal and then chasing after it until I make it happen.
Some of those goals are pretty easy. Like my goal to read 10 pages a day. It's not huge, but I love looking at my reading log and seeing the pages stack up, knowing I'm on my way.
But some goals? They're a whole lot harder... and WAY more out of your control.
As a business owner, hitting 6-figures or $5K months isn't exactly up to me. I can control how many pages I read every day. I can't control who decides to join my program or how much money I make this month.
And those goals that are out of our control feel a little more stressful, right?
So we do everything we can to try and control them... sometimes to the point where we're straight-up desperate to make it happen.
And listen... desperate isn't a good look on anyone.
Not having control is hard. You start to feel like you're failing. Or like the goal isn't even worth chasing anymore because it's taking WAY longer than the timeline you set for yourself (again... something you have zero control over).
But here's what I want you to know about your goals + the setbacks that come with them.
What do you do when you hit a setback on the way to a goal?
Here's the short version, so you've got it before we dig in.
When a setback knocks you off course, three things actually help:
✔️ Find a positive affirmation you truly believe... and repeat it OFTEN
✔️ Build a support system of people who'll tell you what you need to hear
✔️ Unless it's hurting your health, don't give up
That's it. Now let me show you how each one actually works in real life (mine included).
Setbacks are inevitable (but they're not a reason to quit)
Let's get this out of the way first.
Setbacks are inevitable.
No matter what you're doing in your life or what goal you're chasing, you are going to face setbacks. Not just one. Not once in a blue moon.
OFTEN.
But that does NOT mean a setback is a reason to quit.
Sometimes that setback is actually a SET UP... for something better you needed to learn or do first.
So the question isn't how do I avoid setbacks (spoiler: you can't). The real question is...
How do I keep going when a setback feels next to impossible to get past?
Let's talk about it.
ONE || Find an affirmation you actually believe... and repeat it OFTEN
Here's a wild stat for you.
We have somewhere between 12,000 and 50,000 thoughts every single day. And a huge chunk of those thoughts? They skew negative.
If you actually paid attention to what you say to yourself on a normal day... would you say those things to your best friend? Your mom? Your daughter or son?
Yeah. Probably not.
Chances are, the words you say to yourself you wouldn't even say to the person you can't stand.
So how do we flip that? How do we take those thoughts from mostly-negative to something a little kinder?
Positive affirmations.
Here's mine. The thing that trips me up over and over is self-doubt. When something hard comes up, I feel like it's the end of the world. Like I don't have the tools or the experience or whatever I need to get past it.
But when I think back to the LAST time I felt that way (I'm not dramatic AT ALL...) I remind myself... I'm still here. I'm still standing. It worked out.
So my mantra is: "I've always figured it out, and I always will."
When I was going through some of the hardest seasons of my life, somehow, some way, I got through it. It might've taken me longer than I wanted. But I figured it out. And no matter what gets thrown at me next, I know I'll figure that out too.
It might be hard. It might suck. But I'll ALWAYS figure it out.
So find an affirmation that you actually BELIEVE... and repeat it to yourself when a setback feels way too big to handle.
TWO || Build a support system (not just one person)
And when I say system, I mean multiple people. Different people for different kinds of hard.
When I need an outside opinion on my business, my husband is my go-to.
When I'm stressing about my clients, my business bestie talks me off the ledge.
And when I need someone to give me a kick in the rear to do the thing I KNOW I need to do? That's a friend who gets my business but isn't affected by it.
Having people you can go to who'll tell you what you need to hear (even when you don't want to hear it) is everything when you're in the thick of a setback.
These are the people who love you no matter what you decide... and who'll keep you accountable to what you said you'd do.
So here's your homework: tell those people who they are to you and WHY they matter.
And if you don't have those people yet? ASK SOMEONE.
I bet you'll be surprised how many people would LOVE to be that person for you.
(This is exactly why I built accountability into everything I do... because you can't get real accountability from a to-do list or an AI chatbot. You need actual humans in your corner.)
THREE || Unless it's hurting your health, don't give up
OK, I almost hate saying this one, because I don't want it to sound like you have to grind through no matter what.
You don't.
If you're in a toxic situation, or you're facing real health consequences (physical or mental)... please, put yourself first. Always.
But if it's just hard? If it's just taking longer than you hoped?
Keep going.
Because here's what's actually happening when you want to quit... it's usually right before the thing starts to work. The setback feels like a stop sign. Most of the time, it's just a detour.
Yes, it'll be hard.
Yes, it might take you longer than you'd like.
But be resilient. Keep showing up in those little pockets of time. And I really believe you'll end up somewhere you've only dreamed about.
A quick gut check before you keep pushing
If you're facing a setback right now, ask yourself one honest question...
Is this goal still the RIGHT goal? Or am I just white-knuckling a timeline I made up in my head?
Sometimes the setback isn't telling you to quit. It's telling you to reset. To look at what's actually working, adjust the goal so it feels doable again, and keep going from there.
(That's a totally different post... if you haven't read how to set 90-day business goals you'll actually hit, start there. It'll save you from half these setbacks in the first place.)
Reset your goal so the setback doesn't win
Here's the deal... a setback feels a LOT bigger when your goal is one giant, fuzzy number sitting way off in the distance.
So let's shrink it back down to something you can actually work with.
Grab my free 90-Day Goal Template. It walks you through picking ONE goal, breaking it down, and mapping out the small steps that get you there... so after a setback, you know your very next move instead of spinning out.
And when you're ready to actually work that goal week after week (setbacks and all), that's what I built the SYS Planner for.
It walks you through my SYS Method so your big goal turns into the handful of things you actually do THIS week:
✔️ PLAN your 90-day goal + break it down by the week
✔️ PRIORITIZE the tasks that actually move it forward (not the busywork)
✔️ PROTECT your time so you're productive... not just busy
You don’t need 14 different apps or a fancy system. Just a simple planner that keeps your goal front and center so a bad week doesn't turn into a quit.
Setback FAQs
What should you do when you're not hitting your business goals? First, check if the goal is realistic and still the right one... a lot of "setbacks" are really just a goal that was too big or too vague to begin with. Then reset it based on what's actually working, break it into weekly steps, and keep showing up in the small pockets of time you've got. Progress beats a perfect timeline.
How do you stay motivated when you feel like giving up? Lean on an affirmation you truly believe (mine is "I've always figured it out, and I always will") and a support system of people who'll be honest with you. Motivation comes and goes... your people and your systems are what carry you when it does.
Are setbacks a sign you should quit? Almost never. Unless it's hurting your health or you're in a toxic situation, a setback is usually a set up... a chance to learn something or adjust before you keep going. Quitting and resetting are NOT the same thing.
So the next time a setback knocks the wind out of you, remember...
You've always figured it out. You always will.
